Post

It slowly became apparent to me that while I was only interested in counting the number of lovers on my two hands
You were busy growing extra arms to accommidate your new men
And I'm not even attempting to say that's a reflection of where you've been
But rather an indication of where you're willing to go before your life's end
Double talking over dinner tables in philosophical pillow fights that don't hold enough weight to ruin anyone's night
And after two hours of questions without real answers, you get no real winners, you just get real tired and have to call the fight
I can see how that can even be a summary of everything we ever were
A flash in the pan of romance without enough gas to truely burn
You would think that striking two stone hearts together would cause some kind of spark
But more often than not I'd be found drinking myself to sleep in the dark
You see, sweet pea, I ran the numbers in my head, I picked up the remains of memories and buried what was dead, and I recall every soft spoken word and still mean everything I said
But that doesn't help the fact that I was an interchangable accessory for the late night hours in your bed
Now I know you said you wanted casual and casual was right
Cause I was just the shirt you threw on when you weren't going out for the night
Now since we're being honest I suppose I should admit that I didn't need much help in wrapping myself around your finger
Its mostly my fault that I crafted poems and love songs that are strong enough to linger
But when I would lie down next to you my eyes were blinking in shutter shots that created libraries of images in my mind
Until the shelves overflowed and photos came drifting down to my heart, making spirals down my spine
Till it fell like every instinct in my body was standing straight in a line
Saluting the essence of everything I thought could be mine
Its funny how perseption can cause you to re evalutate the truth
And I still would have fought for my reality nail for nail and tooth for tooth
But the emotion that crashed like waves in your eyes wasn't the same rolling tides that came spilling from your lips
And I should have know better considering that it took a bottle of wine before you'd start talking with your hips
I spent every moment trying to graduate from those second grade smiles and ninth grade encounters
We're both fucking adults so what makes you think I want to dry hump for hours
And we still flirt like fucking first graders sitting at opposite ends of cafeteria counters
There's no way I can ever guarantee that I can comfortably sit next to you in the same place
Or not have the urge to punch whatever new boyfriend you've found directly in the face
And sometimes I really think I'd feel better if I could win in the "who's going to fuck someone first" race
But determining the winner would mean I'd have to know how soon you gave yourself over to someone new
And how they just made a parody of everything I tried to give to you
I know its only a matter of time before some golden boy with a sharp tongue and a higher education finds his way into your arms
And I'll probably just get drunk at your wedding and throw my empty beer bottles at your car
Of couse thats to say if our post relationship even makes it that far
And sometimes I hope it doesn't